Hard to stay positive....

So the plan to stay positive... and taking the pregnancy tests every day... kind of back firing. Seeing so many negatives has turned me negative.

I called and talked to my nurse at my RE's office this morning near tears because I still got a negative test and wanted to find out why they hadn't done the biopsy of my endometrial lining that was part of our original "plan of action" when I came to the clinic. The nurse said Dr. McRae wasn't in today, but she would find out tomorrow, and if she wanted to do that the biopsy would be done on Wednesday. She also told me not to cry... that's why it's a bad idea to take all the pregnancy tests (even if they were free!) because technically it wouldn't be positive until 14 days after the IUI which would be this Friday. I didn't tell her that it's also the damn temperature graph that makes me mental... I can never truely understand and read it, so I keep going back and forth comparing previous months looking for the most minute difference that could indicate that this is THE month!

The wait is arduous. The patience is thin... My faith is strong... My support is there in many forms... the strongest being dailystrength.org and my friend Erica - only because they are or have experienced similar IF issues. It's hard for people that haven't experienced it to relate or know what to say. I know many mean well... some don't know how to ask about it, or just don't have the time because they are busy with their own lives, but still I know they care.

It's just another notch in my belt, and just as my friend/mentor/3rd mom Cathy Gooding once said to me....this experience I am going through is going to help me support someone in the future that will go through the same thing or something similar and I will be the one sitting there providing guidance and support that will get them through some tough times.