New cycle

Well Aunt Flow did arrive for her scheduled visit. She's kind of like me.. always wants to be early or on time, NEVER late. heh I'm working on staying positive and not getting down. If we do get pregnant this cycle I would find out exactly 5 days from when Bryan and I got engaged, so maybe that's what we've been waiting for? I don't know... I sure hope that I'll be able to engage in conversations with my friends again. I find it hard when the conversation is constantly pregnancy this and pregnancy that.. or baby this or baby that. I just can't relate and have little to no input at this time.

Hopefully the plan for this cycle will work out better than last time. Only time will tell....

Waiting...

So I guess I forgot to post the results from the Dr's visit on Friday. I went down and had another ultrasound done and it showed some free fluid in my abdomen still from where they cysts had ruptured, which the Dr. said was normal. They did a progesterone test to verify if I ovulated or not, because if I didn't then they were going to prescribe a medication to force it to start. If I hadn't ovulated and still had a period it would not have shed the lining completely as it should and that's why they would require the medication. Thankfully... my body did it's duty and I did ovulate on my own. If by some miracle my husband's few/lazy sperm did find their way to one of the many targets... we may get pregnant semi-naturally, but they didn't provide any feedback on those odds. They probably didn't want to get my hopes up, which I always try not too...I am on time to start my next period on Thursday of this week. Part of me wants to start taking pregnancy tests now, but the rational part says don't waste your time or money... UGH! I will be very glad when this is all over.... We're going to use a half dose of clomid this cycle, so hopefully I don't get as many follicles and we can actually try the IUI.

Next Appointment

It's been a while since my last post, but for good reason. I had intended asking my Dr. while at the appt Friday about some discomfort I was having and it became quite unbearable Saturday morning and I had to go to ambulatory care and leave my dad at home. About an hour and a half later I was home with a prescription for a bacterial infection... I felt quite sick and like I had to use the bathroom most of the weekend.

I had a lot of fun with my dad here and wanted to show him a good time out at Tin Dusters, but after a couple of hours my discomfort was too much and I couldn't even eat without feeling sick to my stomach. We did go to my friend's house that night and I was ok if I sat still and kind of lounged back so I wasn't straight up and down. It was so fun seeing my dad enjoying himself with our friends. I am so blessed with the wonderful group of friends that we have.

I was feeling even worse on Sunday, and Bryan was such a sweetheart he brought me lunch and got two redbox movies to watch and I spent the day on the couch with a heating pad and could not sit up or stand for long without feeling like I would get sick out one end or the other.

I felt not a bit better Monday morning.. so I went and got my permanent crown put on as scheduled, knowing I would be laying down for the procedure and drove straight to ambulatory care again. I saw a different doctor who ran a complete blood test checking kidneys, gallbladder, pancreas, and to see if I had plasma blood infection which can only be detected by the specific test. They did do a pregnancy blood test also, because I had a chest and stomach xray... they ended up determining the bacterial infection was just not responding to the previous medication and I also mentioned my issues with IBS, so I walked away with a new anti biotic, anti nausea meds, and something that would help w/ my IBS symptoms. Works for me...

Today I am so so... I have somewhat gotten my appetite back, as I couldn't eat much for the past couple of days.

I am finding out the joys of taking clomid... For the past couple of days my nipples have felt like needles are stabbing into them any time they are touched and are almost always hard at the tip. (Hey if you're reading this, again can't say I didn't warn you) I also forgot to take my BBT this morning... I don't know how they can interpret anything from that... But I still do it every morning, when I don't forget.

Just wanted to post up to date info... I will post results of the appointment tomorrow. I am having a progesterone test to verify for certain that I did ovulate, and then it's coming up with a plan for the future... I'm hoping we don't have another wasted cycle, as there are only 2 left before my dr's office closes.... =o(

An important discussion will take place today..

The title is what I read in my fortune cookie at lunch this afternoon. It was a nail on the head moment.

This morning I had my appointment to have an ultrasound to see how the ovaries responded to the clomid and get an HCG injection and get set up to have the artificial insemination done tomorrow. It was the partner of my Dr. that performed the ultrasound, and I was quite shocked when he got to the right ovary. He started on the left and it looked like 1 large follicle there and on the right he found 4 additional large follicles and one smaller one that he didn't think would produce an egg. They are each around 2 cm in diameter and when I asked if it's going to hurt when I do end up ovulating both the Dr. and the Nurse responded quite quickly saying "YES!" Guess they didn't want to sugar coat that for me at all. And I am already starting to feel it...

The Dr. strongly recommended we not do the HCG injection or AI this month and that I meet with my Dr. to go over the options for next month. It's quite disheartening to think that what I've been going through the past month was all for nothing. He did not want me to have the struggle of a multiple birth and have to "reduce" the number of babies. He also warned that if they did do the HCG injection there was the possibility of hyper stimulation problems.

We're just going to continue as usual and wait and see what happens.

I am so glad I had my friend Erica with me! I was able to cope much better with her help and advise, and I loved going to meet her horses afterwards! That was great therapy!

Patience...

Oh man... here comes the the next uphill climb on the rollercoaster ride...

I scheduled my visit with the Dr. this morning for Thursday at 8:30 am, which means I'll have to leave Quincy at 6:30 at the latest. I will be getting another ultrasound and then an HCG injection. The HCG injection promotes the follicles that have matured to release the egg(s). Then Friday Bryan and I will both be returning for the IUI procedure. I am anxious, nervous, excited, and scared all at the same time. I am really hoping that this works out the first time. My nerves are frazzled.

On top of that I arrived home, after my dumb late shift, to find the only envelope in the mail is an EOB from the insurance applying benefits as out of network with my provider. Ummm I don't think so!!! I know she's in network, so I don't know what game they're trying to play. I HATE INSURANCE!!! I work for the insurance company and have to bite my tongue sometimes over the crap they pull. I can understand why people get upset, but at times they get upset over stupid crap and that just ticks me off. So yea now I have to call them first thing in the morning to get that straightened out. GRRRRR!!!! I'm sure it's some automated process... or the processors are too freakin' lazy to look into it... my claim from the same provider 8 days earlier paid in network. IDIOTS! So I have to try to be calm and patient.

Patience... boy am I ever sick of that word?? Be patient.. there's a reason you haven't been successful in getting pregnant... there's a job out there for you that's right, you just have to be patient. Well I am sick and tired of being patient and waiting... get me the HELL out of my job and into something where I can go to the bathroom when needed and I am not chained to my desk like a dog and they can just jerk around my hours and schedule as they please. Let me be part of the "Mommy" group and not be the left behind outcast...

Then it leads into the thoughts of "Why??, ect..."

Why not me??
Why not now??
Why can't I find a job?
What's wrong w/ me?
Do I not deserve this?
What did I do wrong?
How long is it going to take?

And hence the title of my blog... OY! Is it Friday yet? I want the weekend to start... hang out with my dad and keep my mind off of other things.

Starting the ovulation tests...

Tomorrow is the start of the ovulation test strips... I'm crossing my fingers that it happens on Thursday because that means the artificial insemination would take place on Friday, so I wouldn't have to worry about being home in time for when my dad gets here.

I have lost 11 lbs so far, so the diet has worked well. I am hopeful that it will continue, but I'm not being quite as strict as the phase 1 was. I'm anxious and nervous about the upcoming procedure. I had a dream last night that I went to the Dr. after having my positive O test and while there they said ok we're going to have to perform the insemination right now, but my husband wasn't with me so they said they'd just have to use what was there and I freaked out. It was weird, I can't remember all the details, but I remember not being happy. I really hope it works out the first time...

I'm also still waiting on finding a new job. I so wish I could get a call from the local Veterans home that is now hiring for an office assisant with awesome hours 7 - 3:30 M-F. Could it get any better than that? Probably not... heh I sure am glad that I took my state tests when I went down to Springfield for my first dr's appointment so that I could apply.

Well I will post updates as they come along....

Clomid...

Well I'm on day 2 and haven't noticed any side effects from the Clomid. I thought it seemed like I was excessively thirsty yesterday, but it wasn't that same today, so probably just a fluke thing. I warned my husband that if I say mean things or fly off the handle or start sobbing over a fluffy bunny that he can't hold it against me because one of the side effects is "moodiness."

I'm very anxious for next week already... I want to start watching for the surge, get it and have everything looked at and the flyer says the insemination is done 24 - 36 hours from the injection of the HCG hormones, so I am also really hoping that I get my surge on Thursday so it doesn't interfere with my dad's upcoming visit that weekend! He's coming down for Tin Dusters! I am very excited to have a visitor and looking forward to showing him how many cars really come to Quincy for the weekend.

That's about it for now...

Oh, and since I started the South Beach Diet I have lost 9lbs. But I gotta tell you the people that are "quoted" in the book as saying this is easy! I could do this all the time! are full of it. The first phase SUCKS! I hate it! I am sick of cheese, broccoli, asparagus, peppers, and the boooooring limited options for snacks: String Cheese, 15 Cashews, Celery sticks with peanut butter.. But oh my! What a treat... freezer burned (fresh from the grocery store) No Sugar Added Fudgcicles!! Oh YUM! I love having my treat while Bryan enjoys a Kemps Ice Cream Sandwich right next to me... LoL OY! I am ready for phase 1 to be done... So I can atleast get some fruit and good carbs back into my diet!!

Pharmacy Insurance Carrier... OY!!!

My pharmacy benefits are through a carrier called Prime Therapeutics, and boy are they a pain. I know they're supposed to be maintaining the same "high standards" in customer service that were are required to, such as: checking back with the caller every 2 minutes, anticipating needs to prevent call backs, and quoting the correct information.

I received my prescription in the mail this afternoon for Clomid. I drove to my usual pharmacy, Shopko, and while in the parking lot I decided to call my insurance to verify what my copay will be. If it is name brand it is $45 and generic is $15. Well I got a guy on the phone who asked my information twice, as though he wasn't listening, and then when I told him the medication and dosage he told me it would be $71.89, so I asked if the insurance is covering a percentage at all? It didn't look like it, so he had to put me on hold. It was 5 minutes before he came back to tell me he was still looking into it. Then another 15 minutes straight on hold, and he comes back to tell me that it's a specialty drug that has to be filled at a specialty pharmacy to get any coverage at all and it would be an $11 copay. Well.. that wouldn't work since I'd have to get the rx to the specialty pharmacy for them to send it, and mailing time... yea not likely to have it in hand Monday!! So... I go in to Shopko and give them the rx and ask them what they were charge. After waiting for another 15 minutes I find out it's only $29.90. ?? Ok fill it! My insurance told me they wouldn't cover it unless it was through a specialty pharmacy and without it it'd be $71. So they filled it while I waited. When it was ready it turned out the insurance did cover it and it was my generic copay of $15. OY!! The headaches of dealing with insurance. I know I give much better service than I received and that always bugs me too.

Atleast it all turned out for the better in the end, but just another frustration. Upcoming will be dealing the financial aspect of going through treatment and missing work. UGH! I hope it'll be worth it in the end and we'll be successful.

Some background on me....

First of all I must say, OOPS! on the spelling of the actual blog link, guess I typed too fast and spelled roller as rollar. Oh well!

So here's a little about me. I am a 28 year old female that has been married since July 28th, 2007. My husband and I decided we wanted to start a family around our 2 year anniversary. We have been trying since then. I come from a family of what we call ourselves as "fertile myrtles," but apparently I am not one of them.

I never thought I would be someone that would have trouble because my periods have always been regular and everything seemed normal. My husband does have counts that go up and down, but with being a truck driver and sitting all the time, that can cause issues.

I have also always struggled with my weight. I've always been a little on the bigger side, don't get me wrong I'm not OBESE visually, I hide it well, but my little Wii Mii will blow up on the Fit game and tell me, "You're Obese!" Thanks... thanks a lot! LoL But anyways... At one point of my life I did get some amazing self control, with the help of my mom, and get down to a size 7 and about 137lbs. Well... sadly that didn't last. I was back up to a size 12 by the time of my wedding. Earlier this year I got to the highest weight I've ever been and just felt trapped. I went to a hypnotist and lost 12 lbs. Which I gained back about 7 of it within a few months. My Dr. suggested that I lose atleast 10 lbs or more to get to a better place as they showed I was borderline metabolic syndrome. Which I think is like pre-pre diabetic. So I started the South Beach Diet as suggested and in 5 days I have lost 7 lbs. Phase 1 is not so fun... and I am getting so sick of cheese and stuff. I am making sure I stick to it though, so I'm hopeful to get under the 200lb mark this week. Yes... I am over that right now, but won't be for long!!!
************************************************************************************
Well today is another hard day with regards to the pain of the cramps and I also have IBS, which always flares up during the change of seasons, so my plans to clean house and organize things has fallen to the wayside. I'm hopeful tomorrow I will feel more up to it. The pain was so bad that I spent 30 mins in the bathroom with a heating pad and a bucket in front of me because it was making me feel sick and every so often I thought I would pass out from the pain.

I have had that happen only once. While up at my lakehome in the fall I went into the bathroom and I remember turning around to close the door and I woke up wedged between the toilet and the vanity. My arm had knocked the toilet paper right off the roll and it landed somewhere nearby. LoL I wasn't out long, as no1 knew any better when I came out. (See I warned you it might get personal... heh)

K

well that's all I have for now...