Oh man... here comes the the next uphill climb on the rollercoaster ride...
I scheduled my visit with the Dr. this morning for Thursday at 8:30 am, which means I'll have to leave Quincy at 6:30 at the latest. I will be getting another ultrasound and then an HCG injection. The HCG injection promotes the follicles that have matured to release the egg(s). Then Friday Bryan and I will both be returning for the IUI procedure. I am anxious, nervous, excited, and scared all at the same time. I am really hoping that this works out the first time. My nerves are frazzled.
On top of that I arrived home, after my dumb late shift, to find the only envelope in the mail is an EOB from the insurance applying benefits as out of network with my provider. Ummm I don't think so!!! I know she's in network, so I don't know what game they're trying to play. I HATE INSURANCE!!! I work for the insurance company and have to bite my tongue sometimes over the crap they pull. I can understand why people get upset, but at times they get upset over stupid crap and that just ticks me off. So yea now I have to call them first thing in the morning to get that straightened out. GRRRRR!!!! I'm sure it's some automated process... or the processors are too freakin' lazy to look into it... my claim from the same provider 8 days earlier paid in network. IDIOTS! So I have to try to be calm and patient.
Patience... boy am I ever sick of that word?? Be patient.. there's a reason you haven't been successful in getting pregnant... there's a job out there for you that's right, you just have to be patient. Well I am sick and tired of being patient and waiting... get me the HELL out of my job and into something where I can go to the bathroom when needed and I am not chained to my desk like a dog and they can just jerk around my hours and schedule as they please. Let me be part of the "Mommy" group and not be the left behind outcast...
Then it leads into the thoughts of "Why??, ect..."
Why not me??
Why not now??
Why can't I find a job?
What's wrong w/ me?
Do I not deserve this?
What did I do wrong?
How long is it going to take?
And hence the title of my blog... OY! Is it Friday yet? I want the weekend to start... hang out with my dad and keep my mind off of other things.
Good venting post! Do you feel a little better? Everybody's got their "crap" they have to deal with. It's different for everybody. What did I do wrong that I've been so sick for the past 9 months? When will it go away? Will I ever feel "normal" again?
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